Dear Mr. Hayden,
It has come to my attention that you are in charge of this year’s Living Nativity casting. First of all, let me offer my congratulations on achieving such a prominent position. In a church as large and prestigious as Faith, I am sure you must be an incredible person, proved in the delicate art of handling both the people and the many animals cast to make each production a success. I would like to offer my services in making this year’s show the greatest Living Nativity ever, but first, let me back up a little. Now, although we have met briefly, I don’t believe it was long enough for you to totally understand the unique position I am in to help this year’s Living Nativity.
I grew up in a large family (6 children) and, from the time I was young, loved to talk and act, and be a little bit of a ham (there are old family videos should you need to see proof). I was in many plays and musicals in elementary and high school, the most noticeable one being a production at the Fort Wayne Theater of The Best Christmas Pageant Ever where I achieved infamy by adding a line for myself that was not in the script. You see, I was an angel, but saw an appropriate place to add a “Me neither” and the director liked it so much he had me say it in every performance. I hope you understand that this demonstrates my innate understanding of theater, and not an unsubmissive attitude towards the director (as I was quite a good little eight year old).
Fast forward to college, where sadly, one does not have quite as many opportunities to enjoy the theater as one had in high school. So, imagine my joy when, after moving here to be with my husband (Mr. Joel Bertles, seminary student extraordinaire) I realized he was involved in a church where I could continue my illustrious career and be involved in a local church at the same time. While we were dating, I went through the Living Nativity and have been involved every year since. And while each scene is a moving and appropriate image of God’s plan for mankind, the scene that has always stood out the most to me is Mary on the donkey. This is mainly because, A) donkey’s are awesome B) How fun would it be to sit, kinda, on one and C) It looks cool. And so, every year, as casting happened, I hoped and wished that I would be chosen for this notable role. But sadly, every year, I was assigned to be Eve, or work with the camels, or be Mary bowing down to Jesus (that was the year we were engaged, fun fun! ;- )
Now I know some people have had regrettable instances with said donkey, but that does not dissuade me in the least, and I think I could be brave in the face of adversity.
All this to say, I believe that I would be a wonderful Mary, and when I innocently discovered that you were in charge, and a quick database search and anonymous source gave me your email, it seemed like fate that I should write and plead my case to be Mary on the donkey.
Also, I know we have several mutual friends (Greiners, Brownfields) and if some kind of exchange would help this process go more smoothly, I think we could work something out.
Thank you for your time and consideration, and I do hope you will look into your heart and make the best decision possible.
Faith Community Center