I am Awesome!
Do you ever find yourself saying that out loud? Probably not, we don’t usually voice it and if we do voice it, we don’t say it that directly.
Sometimes we might even think…I wish I was awesome…or I wish people thought I was awesome. Maybe if I do something of note I can tell them about it, because if I don’t tell them they might miss it or not know about it. If they know about it that might impact the way they think of me, the way they view me, the way they interact with me. I want people to know I am skilled, sophisticated, a gentleman, well-read, well-traveled, a great conversationalist who is able to fix anything with a multitool and duct tape. If they know this, they might want to hang around me all the time, invite me to fun activities, and speak well of me to others…pretty soon everyone will see how awesome I am…and I will feel good, safe, accepted, a part of a group, but also standing out and providing value to the group. I will be a man of purpose, protection and prestige…I just need others to know that about me, I better speak up and let them know the latest thing I did well.
Maybe that is an extreme example of a thought process, but maybe we get so habituated to seeking the praise of man that we aren’t always aware of what our goal is when we speak and what we believe when we share information with others that is designed to make us look good.
I think we all struggle with this, and I think often our kids follow in our footsteps. Each day is an opportunity to disciple our kids and impart wisdom to them of a different path. We can teach our kids at a young age to be careful to not seek the praise of man, but instead to let the lips of others praise you.
Proverbs 27:2 – Let another praise you, and not your own mouth; A stranger, and not your own lips.
I think when our kids are small and they are going through various developmental processes it is good and natural for them to come and say, “look I drew the letter A”, or “look dad, I can go down the slide by myself”, or “I finished my quantum mechanics homework and built this time machine”, or something like that.
Many times, these are simply young children excited about learning new things and seeking to share it with someone they look up to and trust like a mom or dad. However, over time kids begin to find their social acceptance often based on performance in sports, or if they have the newest tech or new clothes (not sure if threads and kicks are the terms anymore), physical appearance or perhaps if they are the most witty or funny. Marketing oneself at an early age can be a very tempting road for a young person to go down to want to make sure other people know they have skills; know they can do things. They would like some praise, some attention and appreciation for what they bring to the table. In an influencer infested world, young people want eyes on them not in an embarrassing way, but in an appreciation way.
It can be easy then to exaggerate and say I scored 12 goals once in a game. I was able to beat that video game in one day, I have 40 pairs of shoes, my parents will buy me whatever I want. Or maybe it is not an exaggeration, maybe you have a lot of shoes, or you are the best player on your soccer team, and you scored 3 goals in your last soccer match. The issue is you exaggerate how important that is and you want to be the one to bring it up and you would like the conversation to park there for a while.
Fathers have a great opportunity when our kids boast to redirect them to Christ.
Performance and praise of man will not save us…humble recognition of our need is the path to salvation. We place our faith in Christ, because we humbly recognize we have nothing to boast in, nothing we bring to the table that is praiseworthy by which we can find acceptance from the Lord.
Ephesians 2:8–9 –8 For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; 9 not as a result of works, so that no one may boast.
Even if we have physical, intellectual, artistic or social gifts and abilities…we have those because we received them from the Lord, and we are to use them for God’s glory, not our own glory. The Corinthian church needed that reminder and sometimes so do our kids…maybe your kids are very gifted, or maybe your kids wish they were more gifted because of the social attention that often brings. The Corinthians were reminded of the word “receive” and that was to impact their lips, their mouth.
1 Corinthians 4:7 –7 For who regards you as superior? What do you have that you did not receive? And if you did receive it, why do you boast as if you had not received it?
Fathers can help their kids appreciate what they have received, and fathers can put the attention on the most valuable things one can receive is salvation in Christ….in which we have nothing to boast in. You see we want our kids to know when we focus on the Lord, we must focus on something more valuable than the lips of others praising us. We want to focus on boasting in the Lord and how wonderful He is. Jeremiah says it like this…
Jeremiah 9:23–24 –23 Thus says the Lord, “Let not a wise man boast of his wisdom, and let not the mighty man boast of his might, let not a rich man boast of his riches; 24 but let him who boasts boast of this, that he understands and knows Me, that I am the Lord who exercises lovingkindness, justice and righteousness on earth; for I delight in these things,” declares the Lord.
I think practically for fathers we want to build up and encourage our kids in wise ways that point to the Lord. When they accomplish a goal, or three, we want to acknowledge that and give honor where honor is due, but I think there is a wise way to build up our kids. Build up their character, their work ethic, their teamwork, their kindness and encouragement of others, their humility and self-sacrifice, their dependance on the Lord. When you see that… praise them for how God has blessed them and how you see them using their gifts and abilities for His glory.
If we don’t value God centered things in our own lives, we will not praise our kids for them. We cannot give them what we don’t have and value in the first place.
Praise your kids. Let your lips get worn out praising your kids, but praise them wisely, praise them for Christ-like attributes. Like, “I saw when so and so did not get the part or did not get a good grade, you went over to check on them. I believe that really honored the Lord to think of others above yourself”. Or, “when your teammate scored, you celebrated with him like you scored, that was so fun to see”. Or something like, “You really worked hard to support your teammates and provide an outlet to them to pass to, and you really got back to help the defense” or “Remember when that one player made a mistake, you were the first person over there to pick them up and I really thought that was Christlike and sets a tone for the rest of the team, good job.” Maybe they get straight A’s or they are gifted musically. They love to hear you say, I love listening to you play, you really serve others and point them to the beauty in God’s creation when you work hard and make the music really enjoyable to listen to.” Or “You are doing really well in school, and I appreciate how much work you put in, but I also want to let you know that I really appreciate how you help around the house and you don’t make grades an idol and you don’t look down on others who maybe it is a bit harder for, and you want to help them”. Maybe your child struggles in school and it would bless them to hear. “You know for some this stuff comes easy, but I really appreciate how hard you work to seek to understand this material, your perseverance reminds me of Christ and how he persevered even though it was really difficult, over time your perseverance is going to be such an asset to your family, to your coworkers so keep going and don’t give up”.
As parents we are to encourage our kids wisely, but one of the interesting things about Proverbs 27:2 is that it says let a stranger praise you, and not your own mouth. That means someone who does not know you well. Someone who is not simply trying to make you feel better…someone who just sees your character on display and want to praise you for it. That means there will be hundreds and hundreds of hours of developing that character when no one sees and when no one says anything. But the Lord sees. Godly parents often see and can encourage in that direction so that a stranger might praise you one day.
Fathers often set the tone with what we get excited about, what we praise. Let us not simply give effusive praise for performance and achievement but for Christlike character. Not striking everyone out or getting all A’s or scoring a hat trick…. but boasting in Christ, and praising people who point to Christ.
May we as Fathers model this and pass this wisdom on to the next generation for the Glory of God.
Consider reading these verses listed above with your kids and then asking your kids,
- “Why is it so much better to hear someone else praise you instead of boasting about yourself?”
- What do people around you often value? What does the Lord value? What have you received from the Lord that is wonderful and how are you using it?
Make sure your kids know you want to praise them based on what the Lord values and what the Lord is doing, so they can focus on valuing the same thing. May we be known as fathers for saying, “The Lord is Awesome”, and He is working in an awesome way in my life and in your life for His glory!
