“You were my new dream.” “And you were mine.” – Eugene and Rapunzel, Tangled
Throughout our lives, young women are shown in many ways what love is according to cultural standards and not biblical ones. Girls are taught at a very young age that they must find their so-called “Prince Charming” and then all their dreams will come true. This concept is often carried on into adulthood for some young ladies. Those who think this way will struggle with contentment and loneliness in pursuit of a perfect “Prince” who is non-existent. Christ-followers who think this way can have the wrong perspective, too, if the Word of God is not understood properly.
The Bible calls men to certain roles in a relationship, and outlines clearly what it would look like for a man to live according to those roles. Ephesians 5 lays a solid foundation for a godly marriage and God’s definition of what the world calls a “Prince Charming” but the Bible calls a Christ-like husband:
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.” (Eph. 5:25-28)
God has given men great responsibilities in a marriage. Men are to love their wives as Christ loves the church! When we think of how Christ loves the church (believers everywhere), we remember that He loves absolutely unconditionally. His love is not based on our actions or good works; it is a commitment, and no matter what we do, His love does not waver. He loves us sacrificially and was willing to give up His very life to make us pure. This is what men are called to in a marriage – to love their wives unconditionally and strive to present her holy and blameless. It is his job to lead her towards Christ and help her to become more like Him.
For women, it is easy to see all the faults in a man and wish he would act as the “Prince Charming” in every fairy-tale does. But we must stop and ask ourselves: from where does our perspective come? Are we allowing the fairy-tale definition of love taint our biblical perspective? Are we wanting a man to worship us more than our Savior? Do we tend to resist the way that God – Who created marriage – calls the husband and wife to different roles within their marriage? God’s ways are always better than anything we could dream up ourselves.
A man was never meant to be a woman’s “knight in shining armor” as a surrogate Savior. Christ died to take that role of Savior on Himself! A husband was never meant to be a woman’s number one desire or dream fulfillment; wives were created to love the Lord foremost and to find our fulfillment in no one else but Him! A godly man will love his wife passionately and lead her to Him in order to bring glory to God.
Our biblical Savior is not a “Prince Charming” meant to satisfy a wife’s every desires. A husband fulfilling his biblical role is one who loves the Lord first and his wife second (but as his first human priority), and who is committed to helping her to become more and more like Christ – all for the glory of God.
At Vision of Hope, we teach our residents and interns to stop and evaluate their expectations and perspectives biblically, taking every thought captive to bring under submission to the all-knowing, perfect Savior. Pursuit of the Savior – the Lord Jesus Christ – is the only way that eternal fulfillment is possible.