Resource Friday: Getting to the Heart of Friendships


“If God is for relationships, then why do I have friendship fiascos? When I look at what I long for and what I’ve got, where is the disconnect?” These are but a few of the many good, heartfelt questions that Amy Baker seeks to answer in her book, Getting to the Heart of Friendships.

In Getting to the Heart of Friendships, Amy takes her readers through 7 types of friendship orientations:

  • The person who uses friends to gain acceptance: an approval-oriented friend.
  • The person who uses friends to exercise power: a control-oriented friend.
  • The person who looks for friends who won’t ever hurt her: a protection-oriented friend.
  • The person who expects others to live by her standards and rules: a rightness-oriented friend.
  • The person who is all about living it up: a pleasure-oriented friend
  • The person who just wants life to be easy: a comfort-oriented friend.
  • The person who wants to be part of the “in” group: a prestige-oriented friend.


In each orientation, Amy speaks the truth in love, showing how sin and wrong desires greatly effect our relationships with others. Amy truly challenges the thinking and wrong motives that often surface in our relationships, and lovingly encourages her readers to make war against their sin, and to love God and others above all else.

Each chapter of this book takes its readers through real-life scenarios that show how sinful tendencies can negatively effect a friendship. In each orientation, Amy highlights the fears and lies that are often believed by those who are struggling with that particular sin.

So, what kind of friend are you? Are you approval-oriented? Control-oriented? How about pleasure- or protection-oriented? If none of those seem to fit, don’t worry – there are several other orientations highlighted in this convicting book. The readers of this book can usually identify with several or Amy’s friendship orientations, but oftentimes one will stick out above the rest. Thankfully, Amy doesn’t leave her readers in a slump; she gives hope that there can be growth and change in Christ! The second half of her book highlights how God’s children are to be freed from sinfully oriented friendships to experience friendships that are authentic, genuine, and God-honoring.

Getting to the Heart of Friendships is a challenging and hopeful book for new believers and mature believers alike!! As one of the important resources we utilize at Vision of Hope, this book is vital for thriving in relationships that glorify Christ and result in blessings for God’s children. If you are interested in purchasing this great resource, get it here!



Bethany Dunn
Bethany heard about Vision of Hope while attending Word of Life Bible Institute in Florida. When she began praying about what God wanted her to do after graduating, He kept bringing Vision of Hope to her mind. Knowing that there was an internship available, Bethany applied, was accepted, and began her internship with VOH in July, 2012. Since then she has been amazed at the opportunities God has given her to learn more about His Word and how it applies to everyday life. Bethany now serves on staff at Vision of Hope.