I read an article on accountability a couple days ago for counseling. It was actually really, really good and made me think a LOT about the whole idea of having \u201caccountability partners\u201d as a Christian. Yes, I\u2019ve heard the term a LOT before, and I\u2019ve even loosely \u201cused\u201d some of my friends as accountability partners. I say \u201cloosely\u201d because after reading this article, I\u2019ve discovered that my idea of an accountability partner is totally flawed. Yet it\u2019s what the majority of people think it is. This article gave me a new understanding of the term and what it means to have an \u201cAP\u201d. (That\u2019s what I\u2019m going to call it because it\u2019s too hard to type out the whole word every time, and I\u2019m lazy!)<\/p>\n
Christians need accountability. That\u2019s a given. We all know that. Really, everyone needs accountability. But what does that mean? I\u2019ll tell you what it does NOT mean, but what we usually think it means. It doesn\u2019t mean a person who will ask you what you\u2019ve been doing or thinking. It doesn\u2019t mean someone who will be on your back to get you to confess your struggles to them so they can pray for you, etc. Accountability is ACTIVE, not PASSIVE. I\u2019m going to quote Philip Huber in his article. \u201cWithout recognizing it, accountability can easily become a way of abdicating responsibility. In asking you to hold me accountable, you become the active agent and I become the object, or recipient, of that action. This passivity can be a set up for blame-shifting. Recently I heard of a fallen brother blaming his accountability partners for their failure to hold him up to adequate scrutiny. If they had asked the right questions at the right time in the right way with the right persistence he wouldn\u2019t have fallen. That is, after all, why he asked them to hold him accountable.\u201d<\/p>\n
How many times have I done this myself? A thousand, I\u2019m sure, if once. But that\u2019s not how it\u2019s supposed to be. I am responsible for my own actions \u2013 no one else. It is MY responsibility to go to my AP and tell them what is going on. I need to take the ACTIVE role, not the blaming, dependent role that I\u2019ve used to often. Like weightlifting \u2013 a good spotter won\u2019t intervene too quickly. He\u2019ll let you struggle and offer encouragement, but he won\u2019t intervene until absolutely necessary, and even then, he won\u2019t lift the whole bar, he\u2019ll only take on the minimal weight to help you get out of the situation.<\/p>\n
I also need to be as detailed as possible. Going to my AP and telling them, \u201chey, I\u2019m struggling with pride\u201d is NOT going to help me. They\u2019re not there to drag information out of me. They are there to offer support when I absolutely desperately need it, and encouragement. If I\u2019m going to play the active role, I need to be specific. I need to say, \u201chey, on Tuesday morning, I was struggling with my pride because I was trying to do xyz perfectly by myself and not asking God for help. Can you pray that I\u2019ll be able to ask Him for help and not try to do xyz alone and on my own strength?\u201d<\/p>\n
That is specifics. That is detailed. That\u2019s what I need to get used to doing. It\u2019s not up to my AP to continually ask me questions and pry things out of me so that I can place the blame somewhere else other than myself. If I\u2019m struggling with something or sinning, I need to take the steps to change that, and one of those steps is talking to an AP or someone close about what it was that I was doing and how I need to change.<\/p>\n
Anyhow, those are just some of my thoughts from reading Huber\u2019s article. I have misused the accountability process in order to shift the blame anywhere other than myself, when that is the only place it ever needed to be placed. I\u2019m sure a lot of other people have done this as well, or there wouldn\u2019t be such a screwed up system and definition of accountability partners. But let\u2019s just say that I\u2019m going to definitely work on this and try to change my perspective. I need to hold MYSELF accountable first and foremost. I need to search MY OWN heart and my OWN thoughts and respond how God would want me to. Having the extra support of an accountability partner is meant to strengthen both them and me, and not to be a way to blame others for my own failures.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"