{"id":83,"date":"2018-12-28T16:01:40","date_gmt":"2018-12-28T21:01:40","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blogs.faithlafayette.org\/seminary\/?p=83"},"modified":"2018-12-28T16:01:40","modified_gmt":"2018-12-28T21:01:40","slug":"a-review-of-tying-the-knot-a-premarital-guide-to-a-strong-lasting-marriage","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs.faithlafayette.org\/seminary\/a-review-of-tying-the-knot-a-premarital-guide-to-a-strong-lasting-marriage\/","title":{"rendered":"A Review of Tying the Knot: A Premarital Guide to a Strong &#038; Lasting Marriage"},"content":{"rendered":"<h3><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><strong>Marriage with <em>Jesus as the Center<\/em><\/strong><\/span><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><strong><em>\u00a0<\/em><\/strong><\/span><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">As a biblical counselor and Pastor of Counseling, I do a lot of marriage counseling. In the midst of the messiness of most marriage counseling, I often find myself thinking, \u201cWhat could this couple have done <em>before<\/em> their marriage to help them to build their marriage on a Christ-centered foundation?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">I know one of my answers to that question. \u201cI wish someone had walked with them through Rob Green\u2019s book, <a href=\"https:\/\/newgrowthpress.com\/tying-the-knot-a-premarital-guide-to-a-strong-and-lasting-marriage\/\"><em>Tying the Knot: A Premarital Guide to a Strong &amp; Lasting Marriage<\/em><\/a>.\u201d Rob would be the first to tell you that going through his premarital guide does not guarantee that a couple will never struggle in their marriage. But here\u2019s what I\u2019ve seen. Couples that use <em>Tying the Knot<\/em> build their house upon the Rock\u2014Christ. When the rain falls, the flood comes, and the winds of life beat upon the marriage, the marriage can endure\u2014survive and thrive\u2014because it has been founded on the Rock (Matt. 7:24-27).<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">The title of each chapter\/session in <em>Tying the Knot <\/em>beautifully communicates this Christ-centered focus:<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><span style=\"color: #000000;\">Jesus Must Be the <em>Center<\/em> of Your Life<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #000000;\">Love with <em>Jesus as the Center<\/em><\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #000000;\">Problem Solving with <em>Jesus as the Center<\/em><\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #000000;\">Roles and Expectations with <em>Jesus as the Center<\/em><\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #000000;\">Communication with <em>Jesus as the Center<\/em><\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #000000;\">Finances with <em>Jesus as the Center<\/em><\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #000000;\">Community with <em>Jesus as the Center<\/em><\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #000000;\">Intimacy with <em>Jesus as the Center<\/em><\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h3><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><strong>Premarital Counseling with Self or with Jesus as the Center<\/strong><\/span><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">Think about those eight areas (life, love, problem solving, roles\/expectations, communication, finances, community, and intimacy) as they relate to premarital counseling. They can be addressed with self as the center or with Jesus as the center.\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">Take communication as one example. We can teach a spouse-to-be the communication principles in Ephesians 4:25-5:2. If that spouse has a godly heart, then those principles can be used to honor Christ and bless their spouse. However, if that spouse has an ungodly, immature heart, then teaching those principles can just as easily produce <em>a more sophisticated and more effective manipulator<\/em>.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">Rob Green gets to the heart of premarital counseling by helping couples relate Christ to their hearts. Put another way, <em>Tying the Knot<\/em> powerfully unites the \u201cgospel indicatives\u201d (who Christ is, what Christ has done, who we are in Christ) and the \u201cgospel imperatives\u201d (how to live a Christ-honoring life in Christ\u2019s resurrection power). Too many premarital and marriage books miss this balance. They either focus almost exclusively on the gospel indicatives\u2014and then leave couples to guess at what it looks like to live out these gospel truths in marriage. Or, they focus almost exclusively on the gospel imperatives\u2014and then leave couples to guess at where the power comes from to live like that in their marriage. Because Rob is a scholar-practitioner, <em>Tying the Knot<\/em> blends a heart-focused understanding of the gospel with a Spirit-empowered understanding of how to live out the gospel in marriage. Rob encourages couples to grow deeper in love with Jesus as the foundation for growing deeper in love with each other.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><strong>Premarital Counseling with Content and Application<\/strong><\/span><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/span><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">Another aspect of many premarital counseling manuals is their tendency either to be almost all content or all application. There may be a lot of discussion of biblical truth about marriage, but little illustration about how to live it out. Or, they may have a lot of neat, tidy principles and \u201chow-to\u201d suggestions, but little biblical content. <em>Tying the Knot<\/em> answers the <em>\u201cWhat?\u201d<\/em> question: \u201cWhat are the biblical principles of a Christ-centered marriage?\u201d It also answers the <em>\u201cSo What?\u201d<\/em> questions: \u201cSo what difference do these biblical principles make?\u201d \u201cSo what does it look like to live out these biblical principles?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><em>Tying the Knot<\/em> is a wonderful balance of Christ-centered theology and practical wisdom principles for premarital couples. Pastor Green includes in each chapter\/session immensely practical exercises and thought-provoking \u201cHomework Discussion Questions.\u201d As a skilled and experienced biblical counselor, Rob knows that it\u2019s not only or primarily what happens in the counseling session or while reading a counseling book that matters, but mainly what happens in the couple\u2019s heart and relationship that matters most.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><strong>A Premarital Counseling Manual for the Couple and for the Counselor<\/strong><\/span><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">Who should read and use <em>Tying the Knot<\/em>? First, the premarital couple\u2014for all the reasons highlighted in this review. Read, discuss, and apply <em>Tying the Knot<\/em> so Christ can knit your hearts to His heart and your hearts to each other.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">Second, the married couple should read <em>Tying the Knot<\/em>. Over the past year, I\u2019ve started requiring <em>Tying the Knot<\/em> for many of my marriage counseling couples. Their \u201cmartial knot\u201d either was never tied with a Christian foundation, has come untied, or is all knotted up! I hear it every time, \u201cWe wish we had had this book <em>before <\/em>we were married!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">Third, pastors, counselors, and marital mentors should require <em>Tying the Knot<\/em>. When you do use it, be sure to read the Appendix: \u201cJust for Mentors.\u201d These fifteen pages contain a wealth of practical insight into how to walk through each chapter\/session with a couple.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">Whether you\u2019re a premarital couple, married couple, pastor, counselor, or marriage mentor, use <em>Tying the Knot<\/em> to join marriages to the cross. <em>Tying the Knot <\/em>is <em>the<\/em> book that I recommend for premarital counseling.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Marriage with Jesus as the Center\u00a0 As a biblical counselor and Pastor of Counseling, I do a lot of marriage counseling. In the midst of the messiness of most marriage counseling, I often find myself thinking, \u201cWhat could this couple have done before their marriage to help them to build their marriage on a Christ-centered&#8230; <a class=\"read-more\" href=\"https:\/\/blogs.faithlafayette.org\/seminary\/a-review-of-tying-the-knot-a-premarital-guide-to-a-strong-lasting-marriage\/\">read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":29,"featured_media":84,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[182,27485],"tags":[244,4566,182,27485],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v19.14 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>A Review of Tying the Knot: A Premarital Guide to a Strong &amp; Lasting Marriage - Faith Bible Seminary Blog<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/blogs.faithlafayette.org\/seminary\/a-review-of-tying-the-knot-a-premarital-guide-to-a-strong-lasting-marriage\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"A Review of Tying the Knot: A Premarital Guide to a Strong &amp; Lasting Marriage - Faith Bible Seminary Blog\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Marriage with Jesus as the Center\u00a0 As a biblical counselor and Pastor of Counseling, I do a lot of marriage counseling. In the midst of the messiness of most marriage counseling, I often find myself thinking, \u201cWhat could this couple have done before their marriage to help them to build their marriage on a Christ-centered... read more\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/blogs.faithlafayette.org\/seminary\/a-review-of-tying-the-knot-a-premarital-guide-to-a-strong-lasting-marriage\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Faith Bible Seminary Blog\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2018-12-28T21:01:40+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/faith-blog-assets.s3.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/20\/20181228160122\/Tying-the-Knot.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1707\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"2560\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Bob Kellemen\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Bob Kellemen\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"4 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/blogs.faithlafayette.org\/seminary\/a-review-of-tying-the-knot-a-premarital-guide-to-a-strong-lasting-marriage\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/blogs.faithlafayette.org\/seminary\/a-review-of-tying-the-knot-a-premarital-guide-to-a-strong-lasting-marriage\/\",\"name\":\"A Review of Tying the Knot: A Premarital Guide to a Strong & Lasting Marriage - Faith Bible Seminary Blog\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/blogs.faithlafayette.org\/seminary\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2018-12-28T21:01:40+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2018-12-28T21:01:40+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/blogs.faithlafayette.org\/seminary\/#\/schema\/person\/3f3a4f608ee0090155ac18e1210338ee\"},\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/blogs.faithlafayette.org\/seminary\/a-review-of-tying-the-knot-a-premarital-guide-to-a-strong-lasting-marriage\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/blogs.faithlafayette.org\/seminary\/a-review-of-tying-the-knot-a-premarital-guide-to-a-strong-lasting-marriage\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/blogs.faithlafayette.org\/seminary\/a-review-of-tying-the-knot-a-premarital-guide-to-a-strong-lasting-marriage\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/blogs.faithlafayette.org\/seminary\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"A Review of Tying the Knot: A Premarital Guide to a Strong &#038; Lasting Marriage\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/blogs.faithlafayette.org\/seminary\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/blogs.faithlafayette.org\/seminary\/\",\"name\":\"Faith Bible Seminary Blog\",\"description\":\"\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/blogs.faithlafayette.org\/seminary\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/blogs.faithlafayette.org\/seminary\/#\/schema\/person\/3f3a4f608ee0090155ac18e1210338ee\",\"name\":\"Bob Kellemen\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/blogs.faithlafayette.org\/seminary\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/faith-blog-assets.s3.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/20\/20181008143946\/avatar1539027579-150x150.png\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/faith-blog-assets.s3.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/20\/20181008143946\/avatar1539027579-150x150.png\",\"caption\":\"Bob Kellemen\"},\"description\":\"Bob Kellemen, Th.M., Ph.D.: Dr. Kellemen is VP of Strategic Development and Academic Dean at Faith Bible Seminary in Lafayette, Indiana. 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Bob is also the Founder and CEO of RPM Ministries through which he speaks, writes, and consults on biblical counseling and Christian living. Dr. Kellemen served as the founding Executive Director of the Biblical Counseling Coalition. For seventeen years, Bob was the founding Chairman of and Professor in the MA in Christian Counseling and Discipleship department at Capital Bible Seminary in Lanham, MD. Bob has pastored four churches and equipped biblical counselors in each church. Bob and his wife, Shirley, have been married for thirty-eight years; they have two adult children, Josh and Marie, one daughter-in-law, Andi, and three granddaughters. Dr. Kellemen is the author of eighteen books including Equipping Counselors for Your Church, Gospel-Centered Counseling, and Gospel Conversations.","sameAs":["http:\/\/www.rpmministries.org"],"url":"https:\/\/blogs.faithlafayette.org\/seminary\/author\/bkellemen\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.faithlafayette.org\/seminary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/83"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.faithlafayette.org\/seminary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.faithlafayette.org\/seminary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.faithlafayette.org\/seminary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/29"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.faithlafayette.org\/seminary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=83"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.faithlafayette.org\/seminary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/83\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":85,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.faithlafayette.org\/seminary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/83\/revisions\/85"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.faithlafayette.org\/seminary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/84"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.faithlafayette.org\/seminary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=83"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.faithlafayette.org\/seminary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=83"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.faithlafayette.org\/seminary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=83"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}