{"id":3421,"date":"2012-07-18T14:36:44","date_gmt":"2012-07-18T18:36:44","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blogs.faithlafayette.org\/church\/?p=3421"},"modified":"2014-07-21T10:12:23","modified_gmt":"2014-07-21T14:12:23","slug":"avoiding-legalism-in-your-home","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs.faithlafayette.org\/church\/avoiding-legalism-in-your-home\/","title":{"rendered":"Avoiding Legalism in your home"},"content":{"rendered":"

If you were at Faith on Sunday, then you heard Pastor Steve Viars
\nspeak candidly regarding the dangers of various types of legalism in the
\nchurch. Legalism is not defined by the\u00a0existence of a rule or a principle to be followed; legalism is the evaluation of\u00a0a person\u2019s spirituality on the basis of their willingness to follow a rule or\u00a0principle that is not found in Scripture<\/strong>. I think many of us understand how\u00a0legalism works in the church, and how much damage is done through legalism.<\/p>\n

So the question now becomes, how do I avoid legalism in my home<\/em>? After
\nall, Pastor Viars said that we could have \u201chouse rules.\u201d So how are \u201chouse rules\u201d
\nnot a euphemistic way of saying legalism?<\/p>\n

Before I answer these questions, I want to state that this article is primarily
\nfor parents. Children are expected to be obedient to parents even if they have
\nreally dumb rules. While a child can be legalistic, in the sense that they judge
\nclassmates or visitors at church, that is a subject not addressed in this article.<\/p>\n

Instead, this article is directed at parents asking the question of
\nhow I (as a parent) avoid creating a legalistic environment (and still
\npotentially having some house rules).<\/p>\n

#1. Place primary emphasis on Scriptural Truth<\/h2>\n

House rules and Scriptural truth are not necessarily related. So, as
\nparents, your children should understand that your focus and your desire is
\nthat each member of the family know the Scriptures and live out those truths.
\nFor example, we need to love the Lord with all our heart, soul, mind, and
\nstrength, and so do our children. That is why we pray, why we read the Bible,
\nwhy we give, why we run to Him in times of suffering and why we rejoice in times of
\nblessing.<\/p>\n

The Scripture also calls us to love our neighbor as ourselves. That is
\nwhy we serve in community outreach opportunities, that is why we serve the
\nfolks in our ABF, that is why we participle in the living nativity, or in the
\ncounseling conference, or serve in children\u2019s ministries.<\/p>\n

When our children are asked, \u201cWhat is it like to grow up in your home?\u201d
\nMay they say, by God\u2019s grace, that \u201cwe live in a home that seeks to love Jesus
\nand love our neighbor in everything.\u201d<\/p>\n

Part of the way we avoid a legalistic tendency is to keep our focus on
\nthe truth, found in the pages of Scripture.<\/p>\n

#2. Explain the reasons for the house rules, and do not determine\u00a0spirituality by the obedience to the house rule<\/h2>\n

A second way to avoid legalism involves two steps. The first is for each
\nparent to thoughtfully consider why they have the \u201chouse rules.\u201d It may be that
\nafter careful evaluation, there are NO good reasons for it, and the rule should
\nbe eliminated. At other times, the parent still believes that there are good
\nreasons for such a rule to be in existence and therefore explains that
\nreasoning to everyone in the home. Let\u2019s take an illustration:<\/p>\n

Let\u2019s say the Johnson family has a rule that when they go to church on
\nSunday AM that everyone must wear business casual clothing (e.g., Dockers and a
\npolo shirt for the boys and capris with a nice top or a dress for the girls)
\ninstead of shorts or jeans. The children object, \u201cour friends wear jeans \u2026
\nsince when does clothing determine how one worships?\u201d On the one hand, it is
\neasy to see that the children have a point. The Scriptures are clear that we
\nworship from the heart. But, maybe the parents remain firm for other reasons
\nsuch as (1) to clearly teach that going to church is not going to the park, it
\nis not playing at a friend\u2019s house. Going to church is something very different
\nthan the things they do the rest of the week. (2) it is a time to be serious
\nbecause it is a time to hear from God and a time to minister to others, and
\nthere is an attitude about the Lord\u2019s day and about corporate worship that
\nsuggests we do something other than grab the first thing we see in the closet,
\nand (3) we [the parents] are concerned that you make the local church an
\nimportant part of your walk with God long after you are out of the home and we
\nbelieve that the more you treat it like a gathering of friends at DQ the less likely
\nyou make the local church a part of your life when it is no longer convenient to
\nattend.<\/p>\n

In this case, I think we can see that the Johnson\u2019s have thought about
\nthis issue and crafted an answer that makes sense. Their response is not simply
\n\u201cbecause I said so.\u201d The answer is carefully evaluated with biblical ideas and
\ntruths supporting the propositions.<\/p>\n

But here is the crucial second step. Neither the parents, nor the children (nor the families that disagree with the Johnson\u2019s logic) can judge one another
\nand determine the spirituality of each person on the basis of the rule (either
\nits presence or lack of presence). So the Smith\u2019s, who may not have the rule,
\ndon\u2019t accuse the Johnson\u2019s of being legalistic [remember, that is using rules as
\na test of spirituality] nor do the Johnson’s accuse the Smiths of being unspiritual
\n[because they don\u2019t have that rule]. The house rule is simply the Johnson\u2019s
\nattempt to wisely apply the command that they are to bring their children up in
\nthe teaching and admonition of the Lord and to give a good account at the
\njudgment seat of Christ.<\/p>\n

This step will not always create consensus within the family or how the families
\nwork out living wisely in this world. These presentations will not always result in our children saying, \u201cThank\u00a0you for your abundant wisdom! If God allows me to be a parent, I will do\u00a0things just like you did.\u201d But this process can bring about mutual respect,
\ndeep Christian thinking, and a turn from legalism.<\/p>\n

I would encourage you to evaluate each house rule by a similar grid.
\nIf you, as the parent, cannot create a sound justification for the rule, then
\nmaybe you should give it up.<\/p>\n

#3. Encourage obedience to the house rules, but passion for the Scriptural Truth<\/h2>\n

The final point that I would like to make in this post is that parents
\nshould place the primary focus on the Scriptural truth, and secondary focus on
\nthe house rules. This does not mean the house rules are unimportant, as they
\ncan certainly reveal to us ways in which a child still needs to grow, but the point refers
\nto which gets the priority. In some homes, the house rules dominate. It is more
\nimportant, for example, for the room to be clean than for the child to have a
\npure and upright heart before the Lord. It is more important that laundry is
\ndealt with than a time of prayer or study of the Word. It is more important for
\na child to wear certain clothes than it is for the child to meet someone new or
\nto serve in the church.<\/p>\n

In other words, the house rules, while still important, are not the
\nmain thing. Helping each child walk with Jesus and live worthy of the calling, is far more important.\u00a0 We would all have a bent toward legalism if we are not careful. Yet, God\u2019s grace can help us be wise parents without becoming\u00a0legalistic ones.<\/p>\n

What other things have you found to be helpful in your battle against\u00a0legalism?<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

If you were at Faith on Sunday, then you heard Pastor Steve Viars speak candidly regarding the dangers of various types of legalism in the church. Legalism is not defined by the\u00a0existence of a rule or a principle to be followed; legalism is the evaluation of\u00a0a person\u2019s spirituality on the basis of their willingness to… read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":3462,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[98],"tags":[10025,4150],"yoast_head":"\nAvoiding Legalism in your home - Faith Church Blog<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/blogs.faithlafayette.org\/church\/avoiding-legalism-in-your-home\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Avoiding Legalism in your home - Faith Church Blog\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"If you were at Faith on Sunday, then you heard Pastor Steve Viars speak candidly regarding the dangers of various types of legalism in the church. 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