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So, men, do you settle for \u201cthe one with the good personality\u201d or go for the \u201ctrophy girl\u201d?\u00a0 You know what we mean, don\u2019t you?\u00a0\u00a0 Either you must settle for the bland looking girl who is sweet, or search for the hot looking girl who is a trophy to be displayed.<\/p>\n
Proverbs gives a third option and instructs young men how to find her!\u00a0 Proverbs 1-9 tells men with whom they should first fall in love \u2013 lady wisdom.\u00a0 Proverbs 31 ends with a man who apparently fell in love with lady wisdom and is able to have the wisdom to discern true beauty in the excellent wife.\u00a0 Solomon ends with \u201cCharm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.\u201d<\/strong> \u2013 uh oh \u2013 guess we\u2019ll go for the good personality.\u00a0 Not so fast.<\/p>\n Have you ever seen someone who at first appears attractive, but, the longer you talk to her, the less attractive she becomes?\u00a0 Despite her rock star glamor, you can\u2019t stand to be around her because of her clinginess and insecurity.\u00a0 How about someone you didn\u2019t notice at first, but as you spend time together, her beauty grows?\u00a0 Which one is truly beautiful?\u00a0 Which one will continue to make life an amazing adventure instead of a pain?\u00a0 Which one grows more beautiful as time passes?<\/p>\n How do we advise men in finding this lady?\u00a0 The bottom line\u2014look for a lady who is growing in being enamored with God.\u00a0 But what does that mean?\u00a0 Look for these characteristics in regard to her approach, her attitude, and her appearance.<\/p>\n A single man can hardly resist a beautiful girl who is enamored with him.\u00a0 But behind the phantom obsession lies the menace of self-absorption.\u00a0 The trophy girl overdoses on herself and wants others to do so as well.<\/strong> Her obsession with you is really an obsession with wanting you to want her.\u00a0 She knows how to manipulate with actions to turn attention toward her.\u00a0 False flattery rolls easily from her lips. Emotional appeals, expressing an inability to go on without you, flow naturally.<\/p>\n Yet, the beautiful woman nurtures genuine friendships<\/strong>.\u00a0 Because she nourishes herself in Christ, she frees herself to give to others around her. Having her needs met, she is not needy.\u00a0\u00a0 She stimulates her friends toward greater godliness, greater service, and greater focus on their purpose in life.\u00a0 She helps the males in her life achieve their God-given function whether or not men give her attention.\u00a0\u00a0 So, men, ask this question, \u201cHow does the lady I\u2019m considering for a spouse stimulate others to godliness without the drama of turning all situations to be about her?\u201d<\/p>\n The boisterous trophy girl defiantly refuses to be led.<\/strong> Why should she be?\u00a0 She<\/em> knows what is best and vocalizes it regularly.\u00a0 She expects others to listen to her.\u00a0 A man initially captures this quality in his mind as a fiery independence\u2014until he gets burned.<\/p>\n The beautiful woman allows God to tame her boisterous pride while simultaneously amplifying her courageous spirit.<\/strong> Her inner disposition rests, trusting God with her circumstances including her authorities.\u00a0 Thus, she freely invests herself in new opportunities in the service and betterment of others. She gains a hearing over time and people do listen to her because of her wisdom. Think about how this quality is deployed in child rearing!\u00a0 So, men, here are a few other questions: \u201cHow does the lady I\u2019m considering for a spouse demonstrate a courageous initiative in serving others?\u201d\u00a0 \u201cDo people consider her a source of wisdom?\u201d<\/p>\n Shallow women obsess over their physical appearance<\/strong> \u2013 either maximizing their appearance or mourning over what they believe is a lack in physical attributes.\u00a0 Beware that the painted smile camouflages a bitter heart.<\/p>\n Attractive joy\u2014not glamor\u2014radiates from within and permeates even the appearance of young ladies finding their satisfaction in Christ.<\/strong> Clothed first with strength, dignity and good works, godly ladies also give appropriate attention to their physical appearance as well.\u00a0 There is no intrinsic contradiction between godliness and physical beauty.\u00a0 After\u00a0doing more than 40 weddings, I have never met the man who didn\u2019t think his new bride was beautiful and physically attractive.\u00a0 However, I know men who later realized their trophy girl was not truly beautiful, and their journey together has been fraught with heartache.\u00a0 So, men, consider the big question, \u201cWhat does her physical countenance communicate about her obsession \u2013 the beauty of Christ or the banality of cosmetics?\u201d<\/p>\n Just as Janet and I advised young ladies not to look for perfection in a man<\/a>; men, look for a lady that is GROWING in being enamored with God in these areas.\u00a0 If the answers to these questions reflect a young lady who is growing in her love for God, you have found an excellent wife.\u00a0 Get a ring.\u00a0 Put the wedding date on the church calendar now.<\/p>\n —<\/p>\n Contributions by Janet Aucoin<\/p>\n Many of these thoughts were distilled from Mary Kassian’s book,\u00a0 Girls Gone Wise in a World Gone Wild<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Her Approach \u2014 Helps Instead of Manipulates<\/h2>\n
Her Attitude \u2014 Courageous Instead of Obnoxious<\/h2>\n
Her Appearance \u2014 Pure Beauty Instead of Painted<\/h2>\n
Schedule the Wedding<\/strong><\/h2>\n